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PO Box 11633 Scottsdale Arizona 85271-1633
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2006-2007 Board of Directors President George Davis 480-396-8456 georgedvs@cableaz.com Vice PresidentFrank Holman 602-695-2565 TreasurerEd Sullivan 480-854-9216 edsullivan9@cox.net SecretaryDiane Rengenberger Membership / Events / Travel Chairman Diane Bennett 480-994-5243 Volunteer ChairmanVacant Past President Al Stimac 480-218-7199 Refreshment ChairmanJoe Richardson 480-895-6366 Editor Stu Mitnik 480-897-1629 Web MasterMike Peterson Photographer Volker Otto 480-816-9184 George Davis, President, wel-comed members and guests to the meeting on October 4, 2006. Ed Gammill led the Pledge of Allegiance. The Club has a new post office box. See above for this infor-mation. Please use this new ad-dress from now on. The Club is in need of a Volunteer Chairman. Also, we need volun-teers to sent e-mail notices of the meetings to our members. Please step up. Diane Bennett reported that our current membership stands at 754. Those who have not yet done so, please remit your dues in the envelope provided. The ocean cruise to the Caribbean via the Panama Canal occurs this February. There are only 2 cabins left you if you want to go, contact Diane. Please provide Diane with ideas on travel possibilities for future trips. Also, Dianne is seeking volunteers to help with purchasing and setting up of door prizes and center pieces for the Holiday Luncheon. The November 1 meeting is your last chance to buy tickets for the Holiday Luncheon in person. Our featured speaker was Rob Gillette, President, Honeywell Aerospace. His discussion fo-cused on 3 topics: · Aerospace Today · Adaptations Needed · Looking Ahead Aerospace today (2005) repre-sented $10.5B of the total Honeywell $27.7B sales with over 4000 employees world-wide. Or-ganization adaptations were needed to provide:
Changes implemented to date have resulted in $175M savings, a 5% workforce reduction with a 20% reduction in management positions, and reduced the number of cus-tomer service telephone numbers from 270 to 2. Aerospace major opportunities for the future are:
Our next meeting will be Wed-nesday, Novermber 1. Our speaker will be Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Sheriff Joe indicates that he will not be able to begin his presentation before 3:00 due to prior commitments. Reminder - we no longer charge dues for the spouse of couples who are both retirees from AiResearch/Garrett/AlliedSignal /Honeywell. We are looking for volunteers to bring some of our non-driving West Side members to and from the meetings. If you are willing to help, please contact Al. 50/50 winners were Jim Lambert and Gene Rowley. This month’s charity donations were given to Arizona Humane Society and the Desert Mission Food Bank. Thank Yous were received from STARS and the Association of Arizona Food Banks. Our monthly meetings are held at the Scottsdale Senior Center, 1700 N. Granite Reef, (just north of Mc-Dowell). The meetings are held on the first Wednesday of every month, September - May, except for December – our Holiday Luncheon. We have a social hour beginning at 1:00 pm, the presentation starts at 2:00 pm and adjournment is at 3:00 pm. The officers hold their board meetings prior to the regular meeting and all members are invited to attend. We welcome any input you may have and please send the editor any items that may be of interest to our members.
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HELP EACH OTHER Handyman/carpenter - replace pump house doors that a storm blew off; replace bedroom closet doors, plus some minor little tasks. Diane Bennett 480-994-5243 If you need some assistance, e-mail s.mitnik@worldnet.att.net with your need and contact information. AiResearch/Garrett Historical In-formation - Ed Gammill, Historian, indicates that anyone who has historical information about the company or any of our myriad of programs is encouraged to donate the material to him. His contact info is above. NEWS YOU CAN USE Honeywell Scholarship Pro-gram requires that applications must be made prior to the closing dates established by each of the 3 Arizona universities. If your rel-ative is interested in applying, please contact the Scholarship Office of the university that your relative attends to find out the application closing date and then be sure that the applications are sub-mitted well prior to that date. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Honeywell Health and Well-ness Center memberships are available for retirees and their spouses at just $10 per month per person. Get together with some of your bud-dies! Call them! Phoenix 602-231-7920, Tempe 480-592-1389. Well-ness Center info is also posted on our website. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Honeywell Volunteer Work-sheet is available on our website. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Other Stuff Subject: Tool Definitions DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted airplane part you were drying. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them some-where under the workbench with the speed of light. Also, removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch...." ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms hu-man energy into a crooked, un-predictable motion and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future be-comes. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is avail-able, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for ig-niting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for imper-sonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUG-LAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters. PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack. SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog **** off your boot. E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EX-TRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength of everything you forgot to dis-connect.
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CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large prybar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screw-driver tip on the end opposite the handle. AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic tanning booth. Often call-ed a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vita-min," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to con-sume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat mis-leading. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. AIR COMPRESSOR: A ma-chine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic im-pact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over-tightened 58 years ago by someone at ERCO, and neatly rounds off their heads. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to re-place a part. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer now-adays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the con-tents of cardboard cartons de-livered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plas-tic parts. DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need. EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually ap-plied verbally in hind-sight, which somehow eases those pains and in-dignities following our every de-ficiency in foresight. ------------------------------------- A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities re-ceived the letter to "God, USA", they decided to send it to the President. The President was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to the little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a "thank-you" note to God, which read: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes." ------------------------------------- These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reebok's. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - More Observations of Steven Wright If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates. His mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. THE LAWS OF INCONVEN-IENCE Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
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