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PO Box 11633 Scottsdale Arizona 85271-1633
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2006-2007 Board of Directors President George Davis 480-396-8456 georgedvs@cableaz.com Vice PresidentFrank Holman 602-695-2565 TreasurerEd Sullivan 480-854-9216 edsullivan9@cox.net SecretaryDiane Rengenberger Membership / Events / Travel Chairman Diane Bennett 480-994-5243 Volunteer ChairmanVacant Past President Al Stimac 480-218-7199 Refreshment ChairmanJoe Richardson 480-895-6366 Editor Stu Mitnik 480-897-1629 Web MasterMike Peterson Photographer Volker Otto 480-816-9184 George Davis, President, wel-comed members and guests to the meeting on September 6, 2006. Stu Mitnik led the Pledge of Allegiance, followed by Dee Marlow with an opening joke. The Club has a new post office box. See above for this infor-mation. Please use this new address from now on. The revisions to the Club operating guidelines were approved by voice vote. The Club is in need for both a Refreshments Chairman and a Volunteer Chairman. Please step up. Diane Bennett reported that our current membership stands at 746. Those of you who have not done so, please remit your dues in the envelope provided last month. On the Travel front, this summer’s activity is an ocean cruise to the Caribbean via the Panama Canal. Please provide Diane with ideas on travel possibilities for future trips. Our featured speaker was Brian Seegars, President and CEO of M-dot Aerospace. He provided history of the business, founded in 1989, and alked about small bus-iness programs, employment of 25, CNC machining, welding, and sheet metal production and repair. This interesting ISO certified company makes very, very, very, very small turbo-machinery that operates up to 500,000 rpm. Our next meeting will be Wednesday, October 4. Our speaker will be Rob Gillette, President, Honeywell Aero-space. Rob will talk about the state of the Aerospace Industry, Honeywell performance and out-look, and the results of the reorg-anization he has led. Reminder - we no longer charge dues for the spouse of couples who are both retirees from AiResearch/Garrett/ AlliedSignal/ Honeywell. We are looking for volunteers to bring some of our non-driving West Side members to and from the meetings. If you are willing to help, please contact Al. 50/50 winners were Mike Peterson and John Brutche. This month’s charity donations were given to STARS and the As-sociation of Arizona Food Banks. Our monthly meetings are held at the Scottsdale Senior Center, 1700 N. Granite Reef, (just north of Mc-Dowell). The meetings are held on the first Wednesday of every month, September - May, except for December – our Holiday Luncheon. We have a social hour beginning at 1:00 pm, the presentation starts at 2:00 pm and adjournment is at 3:00 pm. The officers hold their board meetings prior to the regular meeting and all members are invited to attend. We welcome any input you may have and please send the editor any items that may be of interest to our members. HELP EACH OTHER Handyman/carpenter - replace pump house doors that a storm blew off; replace bedroom closet doors, plus some minor little tasks. Diane Bennett 480-994-5243 If you need some assistance, e-mail s.mitnik@worldnet.att.net with your need and contact information.
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NEWS YOU CAN USE Honeywell Scholarship Pro-gram requires that applications must be made prior to the closing dates established by each of the 3 Arizona universities. If your relative is inter-ested in applying, please contact the Scholarship Office of the university that your relative attends to find out the application closing date and then be sure that the applications are sub-mitted well prior to that date. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Honeywell Health and Well-ness Center memberships are available for retirees and their spouses at just $10 per month per person. Get together with some of your bud-dies! Call them! Phoenix 602-231-7920, Tempe 480-592-1389. Well-ness Center info is also posted on our website. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Honeywell Volunteer Work-sheet is available on our website. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - CPR ON YOURSELF! I have received some response relative to this article in last month’s newsletter. The data as published may not be as accurate or helpful as was implied. For more information, see http://www.snopes.com/medic al/homecure/coughcpr.asp - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Other Stuff This is the most recent legal document that provides directions for care givers and loved ones. New Living Will Form I, ___________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no cir-cumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: · Glass of wine · Margarita · Martini · Steak and baked potato · Chicken fried steak and cream gravy · Mexican food · Hamburger and fries · Pizza · The remote control · Bowl of ice cream · Double Espresso · Chocolate · Sex it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a deter-mination is reached, I hereby in-struct my appointed person and at-tending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a com-puter. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a com-puter with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the win-dows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the win-dows. I need a computer and soft-ware. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the comput-er! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an of-fice with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in of-fice is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
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ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - More Observations of Steven Wright If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates. His mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. THE LAWS OF INCONVEN-IENCE Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
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